Nothing Red Pills you like a woman

Women are the creators of the internet manosphere

Last month, UNWomen.org put out an article titled “What is the manosphere and why should we care?” The general thrust of this article was that the internet manosphere is bad, dangerous, and is recruiting men all over the world - spreading everywhere like a virus.

Which is kind of funny to everybody reading this essay, because none of you were “recruited”.

None of you were in happy relationships living a happy life, then a dodgy friend of yours showed you an extremist YouTube video that told you women suck and that you have to ascribe to this particular type of masculinity. Then, as instructed by this extremist video, you burned down your happy relationship, turned your entire happy life upside down, and became a misogynist.

The fact that people think this is even a thing that ever happens is actually kind of funny.

A long time ago, I was a guy in his 30s in a bad marriage to my first wife.

I wasn’t a bad guy. An average upper-middle-class dude. Four-bedroom house in suburbia. Got married in my late 20s to a great women - four years younger than I was, me a lawyer, her a teacher with a master’s degree in special education.

Things started out good.

Even though I was the breadwinner in our family, I made a point of doing most of the cooking and laundry. The repetitive mundane tasks were nice after a long day at a stressful job. I still do those tasks most of the time in my current marriage for that reason.

I was also very involved with childcare - definitely not a hands-off dad. Most of my then-wife’s friends looking at our marriage from the outside would say that she lucked out and married one of the good ones.

But behind closed doors, my wife was super-mean to me. We were having sex maybe once per month, if that. Probably a little less often. Typically as a by-product of me badgering her until I happened to catch her on a random day when she would rather just fuck me than put up with my complaining.

But it wasn’t just the lack of sex, soul-crushing as that was.

It was the way she treated me. The way she spoke to me. The way she spoke about me to others. The complete lack of any sort of affection, kind words, or even pleasant behavior. She was cold. The way she acted in general, this cloud following her and dampening the room every time we were alone together.

She had no trouble being pleasant with her friends, family, co-workers, even strangers. But the second we were alone, every trace of animation would just fall off of her face, and she’d start responding to everything I said with as few words as possible, burying herself in her phone, treating every time I tried to engage with her like I was bothering her. If I kept it up, she’d pick a fight to shut things down.

At first, I tried to make her happy. To do better. To make sure she had nothing to be angry about.

She was perpetually angry about something all the time. Nothing I ever did was good enough. Whatever I did do was the wrong thing and I sucked for not doing the other thing. And if she couldn’t find something else I should have been doing, then whatever I did was never done the right way. She started to get pretty good and pretty efficient at picking fights earlier in the day each day to preemptively set the expectation of no sex tonight. If she made that clear enough, I wouldn’t bother trying that night and she could screw around with her cell phone in peace.

I decided I’d show her. I’d stop doing things for her. Then she’d notice and appreciate everything that I do. I literally started folding my own laundry and leaving hers in the basket. I’d leave her messes in the kitchen. I’d stay at the office later, be around less, spend a little longer at the gym, make less small talk with her, stop trying to be affectionate or engage her. We’d eat in silence.

She didn’t even notice.

She just fucked around with her phone like I wasn’t there most of the time. And continued to find whatever she could pick fights about to avoid sex.

I was done. I finally stopped caring and started pushing her buttons for fun. If she wasn’t going to fuck me, at least she could be a source of entertainment. And it was pretty entertaining at first. But it got old. So I went back to just not doing much.

So one day after chewing her ass out about sex and feeling good about myself for telling her what’s what, I went into the bathroom and sat on the pot where I do my best thinking. On a lark, I typed something into my phone like why my wife is mean or won’t ever have sex or something like that. And one search hit stood out due to the strange name. It was an article from Business Insider about this community called “The Red Pill” and how strange and misguided these terrible men are.

As I read the article, turds dropping from my ass, the small snippets from The Red Pill that the article quoted made more sense to me than the acutal article. So I navigated to the dumpster-fire of a website known as Reddit, where The Red Pill was based, and started reading. The Red Pill was successfully and accurately describing not just my wife, but every girlfriend I’d ever had, every girl I’d ever chased and failed, even just girls I had been friends with over the years. It was putting words to something I already knew, but that hadn’t really gelled in my head yet. It felt more like I was remembering something than learning something.

For me personally, The Red Pill was just the start. It took me longer than it should have to swallow a much larger pill than The Red Pill: accepting that a lot of what happened in my marriage was beyond my control, had nothing to do with me or how valuable of a person I am, and while I’m far from perfect, I did not deserve how vile she was to me.

She’s not a bad person. We get along today just fine. We co-parent our daughter, we’re both remarried (her to a woman!), I have a son (with my second wife) and another boy on the way. My first wife continues to get along with everyone just fine. She always has. She was only vile to me, and only while we were married.

She was bad to me. And I did not deserve it. It took me awhile to get good with myself after my first marriage.

She had a lot going on with herself that explains how she was with me and why. But that’s her shit. I did not deserve it.

There are a lot of stories like mine. Some elements of the above probably resonate with a lot of you. Other parts of my story are probably more unique to me.

There are a lot of other stories, too. Bad divorces. Cheating. Physical abuse. Property destruction. Mental health issues (sometimes the scary kind). And all manner of just plain bad behavior, sexless or low-sex relationships, and so on.

Sure, sometimes a guy sucks, lets himself go physically, is very obviously and very outwardly not on top of things, lazy, or deficient. Some guys really are bad husbands and boyfriends.

But most of the time, most of these stories we hear in our corner of the internet come from a mostly normal, average guy who hasn’t done anything significantly wrong. A productive guy with a decent job who does what most people looking in from the outside would consider to be sufficient romantic relationship stuff, sufficient house and child stuff (if applicable), and so on. But their women were bad to them.

None of these fellows were in a happy relationship with a great woman, then saw an extremist YouTube video starring Andrew Tate who told them women suck and men have to be alpha manly men bosses of their women, then decided to burn it all down and become misogynists now that the evil manosphere had recruited them.

The internet manosphere doesn’t recruit. We don’t have to. Women do our recruiting for us. Nothing Red Pills a man better than a woman.

What does the internet manosphere do?

We post content on the internet. Essentially online essays. It’s practically a creative writing club.

And we hang out online and talk to each other about those essays, about our lives, about the girls we’ve dated or are dating or are trying to date.

None of us find a guy in a happy relationship and turn him to the dark side by calling him a homosexual simp and showing him YouTube videos about how great the patriarchy is. That guy in his relationship finds us. All on his own. Because his woman is being a sexless super-bitch when most of the time (yes not all but most), he hasn’t done anything wrong, doesn’t deserve it, and doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

This guy, on his own initiative, because he is unhappy with his life, his relationship, or both, will in desperation stumble across our dark corner of the internet. And we don’t recruit him. Half the time we laugh at him and call him names. But he finds our content and sees our community bantering, and it makes sense to him. Just like it did to me. And to many of you.

There’s no recruitment effort, unless we think the mere existence of content that nobody really advertises or promotes counts as “recruiting” people. Simply by existing for people to stumble across, if and only if they look for it.

Think about that for a second - none of these critical thinkers who hate the manosphere ask the obvious question: Why the heck are men so unhappy and their relationships going so badly in a way that drives men to, on their own initiative, stumble across the internet manosphere?

That’s a damn good question nobody asks.

Instead, these people are perfectly fine with men being unhappy and in terrible relationships. They just want to make sure there isn’t any disapproved content for them to stumble across in their desperation that may “recruit” them simply by existing for them to find.

Do you ever feel like nobody really knows you? Not even those closest to you? Especially the women you’re with, or used to be with, or wanted to be with?

And every time you have ever gotten close to a woman, it never works out? For some reason, every woman who really knows you suddenly becomes a sexless super-bitch for reasons you can’t comprehend because you haven’t changed at all and are still a romantic, date-planning, housework-doing, care-taking superman?

Yet when you’re aloof and keep women at arm’s length, don’t let them get to know the real you, and act like an asshole who could take or leave them, your relationships are filled with physical passion, your women are engaged, invested, and eager to please, and your girlfriends are all super-pleasant, almost like they’re afraid you’ll dump them or cheat on them if they go too far?

The internet manosphere didn’t reach it’s misogynistic hand into the hearts and minds of every human and create this relationship model. It was already there. And you’d already experienced it. All we did was create content, and when you stumbled across it and it was a mirror reflecting everything you already knew back at you, it felt like somebody actually knew you. I mean, not really. But somebody else understands what you understand.

And did you go out and start committing crimes and harming women? Of course not. You don’t hate women. You love women. You just started behaving in a way that resulted in more power in your relationships for you. Better outcomes. A happier and healthier you.

Behaving in the way women taught you. In the way that works.

If you think about it, women created the internet manosphere. And all of this creative writing of ours is just love poetry.