The brain hates randomness and likes things that make sense

Unfortunately, the universe is full of randomness, and even fuller of nonsense

A lot of the time, what we’re attracted to in the opposite sex is kind of random. There are some universally attractive things — typically features that signal good genetics for baby-making. Like healthy body weight and weight distribution, full and healthy hair, blemish-free healthy skin, symmetrical facial features, high social aptitude, and so on.

But there are also plenty of random things that some of us are attracted to and some aren’t. Some guys are butt guys, while some guys think butts are the gross things we poop from. Some guys are leg guys. Some weirdos are even feet guys. Some guys are boob guys even though the actual purpose of boobs is to produce milk for babies and not to be sexual. All of this is mostly cultural because many of these primarily-functional body parts are body parts that have historically been covered from view by most cultures, and remain so in most modern cultures as well. So we’ve developed a mental association between these body parts and intimacy/sexuality because these are the special body parts we see when the clothes come off.

Some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes, some redheads. Some guys love curly hair, some love long straight hair. Some guys adore freckles while some think they’re weird. Some guys even like a girl in glasses.

Women aren’t so different in this regard. Some women like a man with the tall, skinny, pretty-faced starving-artist-drug-user-in-a-band look. Some women like the lean, muscular, college lacrosse player look. Some women like the bearded stocky-lumberjack-I-played-high-school-football build that makes a guy look like he saws wood in his garage in his spare time and can fix your garbage disposal. Some women even like the buff gym-rat look, though not as many as you’d think.

The human brain does not like randomness.

The human brain also does not like feeling like things happen to it that it can’t control.

This sucks for our brains because the universe is full of randomness, and honestly, it’s the randomness in the universe that makes life fun. This also sucks for our brains because our brains are definitely not in control. Our brains are slaves to our bodies and our instincts, with one of the most important jobs of our brains being to feed us rationalizations that make the random things our instincts want us to do seem like good ideas.

So when a husband gets a little boring because he starts working 16 hours a day to fund his wife’s Amazon habit, and his wife stops wanting to have sex with him because she’s bored, that’s kind of random. Her brain doesn’t like that, so her brain is going to feed her a rationalization, like the way her husband loads the dishwasher means he’s lazy and doesn’t respect her and that’s why she’s been feeling irritable and trapped and unhappy. It’s the dishwasher, for sure.

It’s not. But being angry about the dishwasher makes sense. Sort of. While just randomly getting bored doesn’t make sense. And the brain likes things that make sense and hates things that are random.

A sorority girl will tell you that the tall guy she’s hooking up with makes her “feel safe” and that’s why she likes tall guys. But when she’s standing next to him drinking beer at a party, the primary feeling she has isn’t safety. And when she’s horny, the primary feeling she has isn’t safety. And after sex, when he’s running for the door telling her he still wants to keep things casual for now, the primary feeling she has isn’t safety.

What she has is an instinctual attraction to a large, healthy male human with good genes for making babies. But that’s kind of random. The brain hates things that are random. So it feeds her a rationalization: He’s big, and big guys can fight and protect and stuff, so this hot and heavy chemistry she feels for him must be because this guy she doesn’t even really know where she stands with makes her feel… safe?

Ultimately, the way a woman treats a man depends primarily on her sexual attraction to him. Even if she’s happily taken and not actually interested in having sex with the guy she’s talking to this minute, the fact that he’s attractive enough to have sex with heavily affects the way she treats him.

The same is true of a man who’s sexually hideous and socially weird. Even if she’s clearly not interested and he’s clearly not making any moves, she’s going to find him “creepy” and “ick” and be “weirded out” and want to get away from him. She’ll even feel like he’s “dangerous”.

He hasn’t said or done anything to make her feel that way. Her feeling that way is kind of random. The brain hates random. So it feeds her a rationalization that this ugly guy is acting creepy and seems dangerous. That makes sense and doesn’t feel as random.

It doesn’t matter what a guy who sexually repulses her does or doesn’t do. He can be the platonically nicest guy on earth, and she’ll be constantly questioning his motives in her mind and feel creeped out every second she has to be around him. And any time he exhibits the slightest bit of actually-bad behavior, she will feel justified as her bad thoughts about this man are validated.

Meanwhile, if a guy is sexually attractive, everything he says is funny, even when he’s being a jerk. Everything he does is charming. If tomorrow, she starts hating that guy, it won’t be because he changed in any way. What changed was her feelings. For some reason she stopped finding him sexually attractive. Maybe she found out he has a kid, or he collects My Little Pony dolls, or something. Heck if I know. It’s random. But now everything he’s ever said or done seems creepy to her instead of funny.

If a husband is hot, fit, successful, social, and interesting, and all the ladies at his kid’s school function keep drooling and licking their lips when he walks by, as they seethe with jealously for his wife, it won’t matter that he doesn’t wash dishes, fold laundry, or change diapers. His wife will wipe down the counter after every meal, clean up his dirty underwear off the floor, and hum a happy tune while she does it, licking her lips in anticipation of bed time tonight. Because she’s grateful to have this sexy guy who chose her.

Why does she like him? He does nothing for her except be sexy. That’s so random. And the brain hates random. So in her mind, she literally feels like he does more than he actually does. That one time he washed a dish a month ago still sticks out in her brain as an example of what a great guy he is.

If the husband is flabby, struggling financially, socially weird, kind of boring, and all of the PTA ladies are creeped out by him, it won’t matter if he washes every dish in the house, does all of the laundry, bathes and puts the kids to bed every night, and his wife barely has to lift a finger. She will rage at him for every little remaining thing she still has to do around the house, as though she shouldn’t have to do them. She will rage at him that everything he does do, he does wrong. Nothing he does and nothing about him will ever be good enough. She will badmouth him to her friends and family and treat him like crap, because she feels trapped with this “ick” man.

How can she hate him? He does so much for her. That’s so random. And the brain hates random. Which is why her brain has told her that everything he does is wrong, he’s a bumbling oaf, and that all of this useful stuff he does for her is actually a useless detriment to her life.

Your brain doesn’t like random either.

If you’ve been married ten years and the mother of your children never quite lost her baby weight after the second kid, her hair has lost its youthful luster, and her face is starting to have some wrinkles, you wouldn’t objectively give this woman even half a glance if she weren’t your wife. You’d never notice her in a room and if you did, you’d think she was a bit on the uglier side.

But she’s your wife and the mother of your children. Your brain literally sees her as prettier than she is. It’s not just your love for who and what she is. You are actually perceiving her visually differently than other men are as your brain feeds you a rationalization for why you randomly are attracted to this woman you wouldn’t normally be attracted to.

If you just got out of a nasty divorce and meet some average girl who drags your butt home on the first date, screws your brains out, and makes you feel like the champion your ex-wife never did, this average girl will seem like the most beautiful woman in the world to you. Even though you swore you’d never do it again, you’ll have half a mind to marry this one and throw some babies into her.

If you’ve been a depressed guy who can’t get laid for most of your life and suddenly you have a girlfriend, your brain is going to make it seem like a great idea to abandon all of your friends and hobbies and make this woman the center of your universe.

Because the idea that you just randomly get to have sex and just randomly attract women and are randomly successful is tough for your brain to process. It doesn’t make sense. But if you beta-up and start doing things for these women and being a good man, that makes sense. That’s not random.

Until they get bored with you for doing that and dump you, seemingly at random. And once again, the brain hates random, so your brain tells you they’re crazy, women are crazy, or maybe even that you suck and aren’t good enough. Some rationalization to make this make sense and make it not random.

Even The Red Pill is another of many attempts to make the randomness of the universe make a little more sense. To try to explain and make things less random. Because women - in fact pretty much all human interactions but especially the ones that involve women - are nonsense. And we are men who like to try the best that we can to make sense of the nonsense.