Women loathe generalizations because believing they are special is core to their identity

"But I'm 5'8"

There’s a somewhat dated but still fun meme circulating social media where a guy proclaims “The average woman is 5’4”, to which a woman poster replies “But I’m 5’8”, captioned “This is all arguments with women.”

Memes are great because they illustrate in a single picture or set of phrases a more complex idea, in a way that is both easier to parse in some ways and more difficult to parse in others. Not just memes, but the internet in general, is like another language, or at least another dialect of our native languages. The way we exchange information on the internet has an extra layer of subtleties we don’t have in the real world, while also lacking some of the real-world tools we often use in person.

As someone who started learning Spanish due to my pipe dream of screwing off to Latin America and living the expat life once the oldest kid is in college, I find this internet dialect fascinating. Because I find language kind of fascinating in general. This is probably why I write. Language is so important. It defines cultures. It defines eras. This is why many movements try to control language and redefine words and control the narrative. Because language has a direct effect on how we think.

As one silly example, many American students learning Spanish struggle with whether to use the verb “ser” or “estar” when talking about something. Both of these words are Spanish for “to be”. So when I want to say “he is fat”, I just say “is” in English. We only have one version of the “to be” verb. In Spanish, I have to decide which “is” verb is the proper one to use in this case. Your teachers will tell you lots of shortcuts and tricks, but the language and its cultural effects are much deeper than those tricks.

“Ser” literally translates to “being”. Like “un ser humano” is Spanish for a human being. “Estar” comes from the same root as “estado”, which means state. For example “Estados Unidos” is Spanish for the United States. So you use “ser” when you are talking about a characteristic of something, and “estar” when you are talking about the state of something.

But in Spanish, these words don’t literally mean “is”. Kind of, but not exactly. That’s just the best English translation we have for them. If Spanish is your native language, you grow up in this culture with two distinct words - one used to describe characteristics: “He exists as a being with the following characteristic”, and one used to describe states: “He exists in the following state”. Neither word directly translates to “is” - it’s a whole different lexicon and a whole different way of perceiving the world. A small way, but still different. You grow up seeing the world in states and characteristics and having different ways to talk about each, while someone who grew up with just the word “is” doesn’t see the world exactly the same way.

That’s just a tiny example that probably doesn’t change a speaker’s whole life that much, but every language has 1000s of little things like this going on. Even your own, but you don’t notice these in your native tongue because you’ve spoken and had your thoughts colored by the way your language works your whole life.

A meme like “but I’m 5’8” is kind of like that.

I can verbally tell you “Some people, especially women, will try to discredit an obviously-applicable generalization by pointing out an exception, when by their very nature, everyone knows that a generalization is supposed to be a shortcut tool that does not have to be true all the time to be a very useful and very applicable tool. So the real debate people are having isn’t whether this specific generalization is true but whether generalizations should be allowed at all” — but that doesn’t have quite the same zip to it as “but I’m 5’8”.

The entire Red Pill — all of it — every single rule, system, saying, essay, practice, whatever — every damn part of it, is a generalization.

This is known, intentional, and by design.

No Red Pill thing is 100% true 100% of the time. It’s just a very useful tool, like every other generalization we make in life that keeps us safe and helps us be successful that we often don’t even recognize we’re making because we don’t consciously think about it.

Here are some fun examples:

Women prefer sex with hot, successful, confident men, so be hot, successful, and confident…

…Except internet women will swear up and down that they and all of their assertive bad bitch friends are hot and heavy for their scrawny, laid back, respectful, underachieving boyfriends and have sex with them 20 times a day. Therefore this generalization that women prefer sex with hot, successful, confident men is clearly false.

Women cheat, dump, or behave badly when their men start acting weak and unattractive (All Women Are Like That), so don’t be like that…

…Except then some internet guy tells you about this girl he dated who didn’t, so this generalization is clearly false!

Women hit the wall somewhere in their 30s and get uglier and have a harder time finding awesome boyfriends or really hot guys who want to hook up…

...Except look at this celebrity who’s still hot at 45 or this one girl who lost a lot of weight since her 20s who is clearly hotter now. RED PILL DISPROVEN!

Waiting until you’re 30 or older to have babies is a really bad idea because it’s significantly more difficult to become pregnant, the odds of successfully carrying a pregnancy to term are lower, the odds of birth defects, complications to the baby and/or mother during pregnancy, and complications during childbirth are higher. And this isn’t even a Red Pill thing - literal medical professionals say this….

…But you can cite to literal medical journals and point to the actual statistics and medical advice from real doctors, and throngs of women will still scream about how they and people they know have had healthy children at 45 and therefore all of this is false.

“But I’m 5’8!”

Before stumbling across The Red Pill, most of us internet men grew up believing the “blue pill” story. Work hard in school, get a good job, become someone who can support a wife and kids, be nice, kind, generous, and respectful to everyone - especially women. Meet girls and become their friend. Do nice things for them. Eventually, over time, one or more of your friendships might become romantic and you end up married to the love of your life. Once married, continue being nice, kind, generous, and respectful and prioritizing your wife. Make it a habit to labor, serve, and sacrifice for her benefit, and for the benefit of society. Be a good man like that and things will work out.

Then we learn that there are guys who are fun and good-looking and social who have non-exclusive casual sex with multiple women (who like and enjoy casual sex and don’t care that much that it’s non-exclusive) — and not just “bad girls,” also that nerdy girl in our calculus class we though wasn’t like that (she’s even more like that than the hotties). And these guys are kind of selfish jerks rather than generous, respectful fellows who do kind things for the women they’re dating. Yet in addition to a youth filled with casual sex and dating, many of these guys still end up with good jobs, friends, and families. We tell ourselves these must be rare exceptions.

But then we kept trying the “blue pill” way over and over and failing. We never got the girl. When we did, we got dumped/divorced or cheated on or she behaved badly, even though we worked hard and did all the kind, thoughtful, “right” things good boyfriends and husbands do. We started to wonder. And after stumbling across The Red Pill and actually hitting the gym and learning a little game and doing ten times better with women, we stopped wondering because you can’t deny what’s right in front of you.

Or can you?

The blue pill is seductive. Because it makes logical sense. People are supposed to like people who are nice to them, kind, and do nice things for them. People are supposed to like people who serve, labor, and sacrifice for their benefit.

And they kind of do.

But people also like people who are good-looking, fun with great social skills, confident, know what they want and go after it, and have a healthy set of strong, somewhat selfish boundaries.

The first guy is… nice. The second guy actually has a chance at being sexy.

But the blue pill is seductive. Because sometimes it works. Our Red Pill generalization that the blue pill guy always loses is just a generalization.

If you go out there again and again and befriend women and treat them kindly, laboring, serving, sacrificing, and being the perfect blue pill fellow, there’s a decent chance that eventually, something will work out for you and you end up getting the girl, and maybe even having an okay life. It might not work. It often doesn’t. But it might. You might be the exception to the generalization.

It’s undeniable, based on everything that’s right in front of our eyes, that women strongly prefer hot, fun guys over guys who are less hot, less fun, but very nice, generous servants. That is a very useful generalization. But if you look hard enough, you’ll definitely find some exceptions. Self-sacrificing guys who got the girl and have okay-ish lives.

And when you see these guys on the internet or in the real world and tell them there’s a better way, and start telling them all of these “Red Pill” things you’ve learned, they’ll look at you like you’re crazy. Because they did something that makes good, logical sense, and logically seems like it ought to work, and in their case, it did. Meanwhile, your Red Pill generalizations sound like insane misogynistic rants based on an internet fantasy instead of logic and reality.

It’s undeniable, based on what’s right in front of you, that your Red Pill generalizations are generally true, but as much as people unconsciously love generalizations because they make life easy and efficient, consciously, people HATE generalizations. Especially ones that apply to them. Women most of all.

Because a woman’s core identity revolves around believing she is unique. Special. That the things she thinks about stuff that might be slightly different than the things another woman thinks about stuff make her a special and interesting human being and not mostly-interchangeable with other women.

When you say something undeniable, like “women prefer men who are hot”, it doesn’t matter how clearly true this generalization is. Every single woman will immediately tell you that she is an exception or knows someone who is. Not because she believes women don’t prefer hot men, but because she believes it’s wrong to use generalizations about “women.” Because she’s a member of that group and doesn’t want generalizations to apply to her.

And every man will tell you his wife or girlfriend is the exception, because God help him if he had to look at what’s in front of him and started wondering about his woman.